Whired

Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you. I’m a thing. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. Who am I making this out to?

Shut up and get to the point! Oh yeah, good luck with that. With gusto. Daddy Bender, we’re hungry. Oh God, what have I done? So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct? Okay, I like a challenge. Throw her in the brig. Shut up and take my money!

And then the battle’s not so bad? Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.

I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Say what? You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. I can explain. It’s very valuable. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Oh God, what have I done? Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Oh sure! Blame the wizards! Who am I making this out to? That’s not soon enough! Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! And then the battle’s not so bad? Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat.

I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me.

What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. You’re going to do his laundry?