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By: Thomas Mass

Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Oh right. I forgot about the battle. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
No, I’m Santa Claus

Cause explosive decompression

May 28
Boring

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Okay, I like a challenge. Shut up and take my […]

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Ok, this has gotta stop

May 20
Daily

And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you. No, I’m Santa Claus! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? I am Singing Wind, Chief […]

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